Invisible barrier

Turns out that I'm not as fine as I first thought. Besides being mad as hell, I'm utterly lonely. While I was dating 'computer geek' I knew I needed more friends and I was desperately looking, but now I'm seriously out of luck. I lost my love and my friend and that just sucks. Also I've lost time at work so I basically have the most time on my hands I've ever had and no one to spend it with. I have been reaching out to other people at work, b/c people say that's the best place to make friends, but they are not reaching back. LA is not the town to make friends or at least decent ones. The friends around me are suddenly moving away, taking very long vacations, or just not around. My passion for acting has burned out for now and my lack of funds has made that happen, dramatically. I hate being the sourpuss, but that's what I'm going through right now and it's just not pretty. I need a soft place to land. There are so many things I want to do and now is the time I should be doing them, before I get tied down (if I ever do.)

All I know is that I am miserable, completely alone and unhappy. I am living my days like I'm waiting for the grim reaper, and my friend, that is no way to live a life. I wish I could take a happy pill b/c I would, in a heartbeat. I don't want to think about my wasted year and who I wasted it for. I don't want to think about anything, I want to do what I want to do. I want to not be scared, but feel driven towards a goal. I want to be surrounded by people who love and care for me and that only leads to me to one place... "The best is yet to come, darling, the best is yet to come." Oh, Lord, don't fail me now! (you never do)